


fifteen

by Rosse



Category: Naruto
Genre: Friendship, Gen, mentions of attempted homicide?, sorta tragic?, stream of consciousness fic, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2445806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosse/pseuds/Rosse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In the span of their adulthood, Orochimaru tries to kill Jiraiya fifteen times."</p>
<p>AKA I was catching up on Naruto anime and this happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fifteen

In the span of their adulthood, Orochimaru tries to kill Jiraiya fifteen times. Thirteen of those are because he's a liability, and every time Tsunade yells at him and pushes more chakra into the useless lunk's body. Thirteen times Tsunade gambles on all their lives, and thirteen times she's lucky enough to be saved from bankruptcy.

Orochimaru doesn't understand - has never understood - the way Tsunade insists on saving others at the expense of all practicalities. Why she believes that her own life as the best medic of their generation pales in comparison to those of lesser shinobi - of chuunin who still don't know how to throw kunai in straight lines one hundred times out of one hundred, of special jonin whose only contribution to the war effort is a half-hearted shrug of chakra that could barely keep the wind at bay.

He doesn't understand - certainly does not - the way Jiraiya keeps smiling at him like nothing's happened those thirteen times. Why Jiraiya still tosses an arm over his shoulder and laughs, that booming sound which reverberates around the whole of Konoha, saying _he gets it_ \- what does he get? That Orochimaru is not to be trusted, for he is a murderer, plain and simple? But if he understood that, he would refrain from these shows of friendship.

Orochimaru doesn't understand his teammates, beyond the long-lodged thought that they are weak because they have never given up their selves when in battle.

Thirteen times for his own life. How much more often does one man need to prove that he does not deserve their camraderie? That he does not desire it?

Thirteen times out of practicality and yet they still defy all the odds and textbooks because they can, and Orochimaru seethes inwardly at the rules being shattered so casually while his years of research, of obsessive planning have brought him no closer to perfection.

Thirteen times and Jiraiya continues to come over, with drinks in hand and a sympathetic look after taxing missions. They drink themselves into oblivion and every time Jiraiya says

_"You don't have to worry."_

and grins at him obliviously.

Thirteen times and more years than he can count, but Jiraiya keeps coming back with drinks and smiles and no judgement. He only twice changes his words

_(We can all see you breaking, you know.)_

and both times Orochimaru nearly kills him again.

Fifteen times and Jiraiya finally stops visiting.


End file.
